Blowing the Whistle on Cheaters

If you knew a friend of yours was being cheated on, would you tell him or her?  Someone asked me this today and I do think it's one of the most interesting scenarios to contemplate.  Seems like a lot of things have to be considered and I want to organize my thoughts... perhaps therapeutically.

For one thing when it comes to experience I have never cheated on anyone... one thing that stops me when temptation comes calling is that I would never want to hurt anyone that much.  Another thing that stops me is that I'm almost never in a relationship which makes the plausibility of cheating somewhat dubious.

Have I ever been cheated on?  I think so... but no one has ever confessed... so all I have is suspicion... plenty of it.

Here is a good reason to inform your friend of the evidence you have: When you find out you've been cheated on one of the things that hurts the most is the humiliation of being made a fool of.  Maybe just yesterday you made dinner for your sweetheart.  And then today you find out they've been messing around for weeks.  What an idiot you were!  Making dinner for that piece of (creative expletive very likely pertaining to digestive waste of some kind).  Friends inform friends so they can put a stop to their foolishness as soon as possible.

But an important consideration is this... that your friend might not do what you think they should with the information you give them.  Breaking up is hard to do and they might not want to do it.  They might want to make things work or they might even be in denial of what you've communicated.

Or maybe they already know.  I don't see how you can be in a serious relationship and not sense it a little bit when the other person is being unfaithful or untrustworthy.  So if you don't want to get involved... I think that's understandable... very likely your friend already knows there are trust issues and they just haven't gotten to that point where they're ready or willing to do something about it.