My Black Friday Blog

I'm the kind of vegetarian that makes sure my kitten has gourmet sliced turkey on Thanksgiving day.

Other than that I was not likely to have much of a holiday this year, but then a friend from work invited me to her house. She knows I don't have any family in this area. She reassured me that my diet would not be inconvenient and that the kids in the family would not have their Turkey Day spoiled by the presence of a stranger.

So I arrived in the afternoon at Kelly's house and was hooked up with a White Russian in a matter of moments. Which was excellent. But I am a lightweight. And I was properly buzzed in no time. And the second White Russian contained at least twice as much alcohol as the first... with the result that it took me right around five hours to sober up once I'd finished drinking. Kelly had long since gone to work and so I was playing poker with her family... and doing quite well... which is probably inadvisable when you don't really know anyone. So I went all in and lost all my chips so I could go sit on the couch and watch TV until I was okay to drive.

Once I'd gotten out on the road I called a friend that I had never met in person who happens to live in that area and either she graciously invited me to come see the work she's doing on her home or I somehow coerced her into inviting me to come see the work she's doing on her home. Anyway... I'm glad that happened because if it hadn't I would not yet realize how tiny she is. I had imagined previously that she was maybe 5 ft. 9 inches tall, but it turns out she's more around 5'6 which is perfect for her and somehow makes her seem more delicate in a way that makes me feel protective... though I'm probably the only person that was in any serious danger insofar as her dog has manifested in the past a far more aggressive inclination to protect her than any situation I can imagine would require me to demonstrate. Now I have to put the last sentence in bold font just to illustrate how I'm not quite so good a writer as I pretend to be.
Anyway... that visit... unplanned and unexpected... was both innocent and restorative. What do I mean? It's hard to explain. Difficult to share, for it deserves to be hidden away within... too sacred for common consideration... and yet there is nothing common about those who read my blogs... and I really want to commit this memory to writing... to capture the spirit of it if I can into words and phrases.

She showed me the work she's doing on her house. Would have been educational for a more astute visitor, but I feel no more capable of caulking or plastering now than I did before. I think the important thing was to comprehend how extensive her projects are... and how demanding. I asked questions, but was interrupting too often though she was quick to remind me we were likely a little nervous. She showed me an invention she'd designed and I was highly impressed as much by the work involved as by the usefulness of the device. When one suffocates as much in a quagmire of procrastination as I do... it's inspiring to see what others can do when focused and determined.

She has a beautiful collection of swords but no Excalibur... no sword in the stone... wherefore I mentioned I would have to wait until some other time to reveal my real identity.

We watched a movie. She let me choose and it was an easy selection to make. "Pieces of April" about a radical girl who tries like crazy to make a Thanksgiving dinner that will redeem herself in the eyes of her family while this same family is nearly petrified with the prospect of what disaster awaits them as they make the eventful journey to her home.

It's the first time I've ever met someone in person through MySpace. I had this feeling that I knew her pretty well and that mostly what remained was to meet her, but then once we met I realized it surely doesn't work that way at all. You can correspond for months and then meet however spontaneously and that's when you're reminded that a person, an interesting person, is far far too fascinating to understand so easily. Although isn't it true that the degree to which you get to know someone does not depend exclusively upon how interesting that person is, but partially upon how much interest you take in that person? The first hug and the last were splendid, but they could not compare with the hugs in between.

She was thoughtful in many ways. Including the gesture of messaging me to be sure I'd arrived home safely.

But I did not go to sleep last night. I stayed awake watching movies on cable until it was time to venture back out into the night and to see for myself what this Black Friday business is all about. At about 4:30 I found myself in the parking lot, filled to capacity with cars, at Best Buy. But the store was not open. The line of people waiting for business to commence extended all the way from the front door and across two parking lots. Discarded Starbucks cups were strewn without interruption all the way along the curb. I would venture to guess I was in line with between 500 and 800 people but I really had no way to make an accurate count without losing my place. People were not nearly as bad as you would think from stories you've heard. It was annoying to be so crowded once we got inside, but there were no outbreaks of shoving or fighting that I noticed.

That happens a lot... that stories are told in such a way and with such frequency that I fear an inaccurate perception is developed. I notice this with people's idea of New Yorkers, supposedly the rudest people in the United States. How do you think that reputation originated? Here's one possibility. Let's say in 1975 that a North Carolina carpenter named Brian takes his family to Manhatten for a summer vacation and so they're trying to find their way to the Statue of Liberty and they ask a pedestrian named Abdul "How do we get to the Statue of Liberty?" and Abdul just keeps walking. Because he's rude... or maybe because he doesn't speak English... or let's say instead of Abdul... it's Richard that's walking past them and they solicit information from him, while he speaks English... he's never been exposed before to a southern drawl. People... unless you've heard it, you won't appreciate how impossible it is to understand certain varieties of the southern drawl. After repeating their inquiry for directions six times Richard says "Okay, I'm sorry, but I really can't understand what you're asking and I can't be late for this appointment. Good luck." That could seem rude for the simple reason that it implies that Brian and his family from North Carolina do not speak coherent English... and they would be insulted.

All I'm saying is that when you're in line on Black Friday you can probably talk with and joke with the other people in line. I did. And when you're in New York City and you ask for directions... don't be surprised if you get the information you're asking for in exactly the same fashion that you would anywhere else in the English speaking world. I've seen it happen. But you don't hear about that, do you? Who wants to hear about the normal people you interacted with on your vacation?

And then after shopping, I went home and fell asleep. Upon waking I began making spaghetti when there was a knock on the door. Elder Maughan of the Church of Latter Day Saints of Jesus Christ. He and Elder Shultz invited me to come to their church down the street so I went with them and they talked to me about how I was feeling the presence of the Holy Spirit in my heart and they asked me if I wanted to be baptized and because I wanted to hurry things up, I went along with it. I think it's unfair to take advantage of a skeptic when he's separated from his spaghetti.