Today I was working on a reaffirmation exercise in which I congratulate myself for things I don't do and have never done... like never having a cavity or never breaking a bone or never smoking or cheating...
What do I mean when I say I've never cheated? I'm talking about relationships... I've never cheated on a girlfriend... Never slept with or even kissed a girl outside of the relationship I'm in...
But then I thought... have I been an accomplice to cheating? What about spending time with a girl who's in a relationship with another guy... even if I don't sleep with her or kiss her... but I seduce her with words and smiles and strategic "incidental" contact?
That's when I realized that cheating is really very complicated. I don't think any of us can say exactly when cheating begins. Exactly what it is. Let's say cheating is when you do anything you wouldn't be comfortable doing if your significant other were watching... but then that rules out vomiting for me.
There's an element of betrayal but that could be different for different people. I've dated girls who feel betrayed if you happen to notice the number of eyes another girl has on her face. But I hope I've reached a point in my life where I will avoid dating any more girls who are pathologically insecure... girls who are almost desperate for an excuse to accuse you of infidelity so as to reinforce their conviction that they are not pretty or what-the-hell-ever.
I don't have any groundbreaking insight... it's just on my mind. Being an accomplice to cheating is pretty bad BUT in my opinion not nearly as bad as doing the cheating yourself.
And cheating is when you do something with someone else and you know it would hurt your partner if they knew and you know it would hurt you if it happened the other way around.
Are these reasonable opinions? How would you modify them?
