An Atheist Refutes Evolution

It’s usually safe to assume that an atheist subscribes to the theory of evolution, but I’m different. Granted, I don’t happen to have much in the way of credentials where science is concerned. It’s my least favorite subject dating back to a project in the third grade during which time in my life I assumed I could invent anything I wanted to right up until the night before the deadline when I tried to create a functioning automobile out of a shoebox.

But here’s my argument just the same. It seems evolutionary theory is self-contradictory. On the one hand you have life evolving from a single organism and on the other you have the survival of the fittest. Fish incur mutations that make them superior to the other fish, right? A fish with feet gains access to a greater supply of food. He can swim like other fish… or if that’s not bringing home the bacon he can go waltzing up onto the beach to rummage around for any dinner that may have washed up on the shore. But we’re reminded how very gradual are these mutations. Mr. Joe Fish isn’t just suddenly born with feet out of nowhere. More likely his dad had the semblance of feet… maybe without so many toes… and his granddad had a couple of rather undedeveloped stubs whereby feet were apparently thinking about sprouting and his great granddad… definitely had a couple of bumps from whence appendages seemed at least tempted to emerge. But during these almost-feet generations it seems these fish would be seriously encumbered during the act of swimming while their less evolved relatives swam rudimentary circles around them. In this case, the fittest fish would be the ones not evolving.

I liken this to our species. I’m told I am on the cutting edge of evolution because I have only one pair of wisdom teeth instead of two. Humans used to need both pairs but now we require none and eventually we shall produce none. But another aspect of survival for our species is intelligence and inasmuch as I’m smart enough to realize that there are already too many humans inhabiting our planet and that there will not be enough resources to support them all, I have intelligently declined to procreate (this magnanimous sacrifice has been greatly assisted by dozens of equally intelligent ladies who have unanimously refused to have sexual relations with me). So here I am, a living evolutionary link between four wisdom teeth and none… but also too enlightened to pass down the less-teeth gene. What a Darwinian paradox! The humans most likely to reproduce are the ones with too many wisdom teeth and not enough wisdom… next thing we’ll have fish riding bicycles.