The Birds and the B~Words

There I was once more testing the limits of my physical abilities on the track around the Tacoma Community College soccer field. I had just timed myself walking a mile in 13 minutes and 25 seconds. I was about to time myself running the same distance, but was sitting on the bleachers for a minute allowing myself to rest and regain a little energy before doing so. That's when I noticed all the Canadian Geese. So many, in fact, that I found myself counting them and learned there were 36. And it so happens that by counting them my perspicacity for observation was slightly enhanced and I further noticed that the geese were gathered in several groups... usually comprised of two or three creatures each. So I watched them for several more moments than I initially expected to and pondered these smaller groups... wondering if they consisted of couples. If two geese were together maybe a few yards away from any other birds, was it reasonable to suppose they were in a relationship together? And if so what kinds of issues did they engage? What dominates the mentality of a fowl when choosing a mate?

The Romantics wrote poetry about how they longed to be as the birds flying about between heaven and earth with nothing stressing them out. But this has never seemed so terribly inviting to me. Whatever criteria they use in pairing up... (I'm speaking of the geese here... not the Romantics)... I'm sure it's not nearly so sophisticated as my own. Quite probably that helps to explain why they're about 75,000 times more successful when it comes to finding someone compatible. But what do they really think about? What do they really do? Besides hunting and pecking for something palatable to nibble on and gulp down... Besides migrating... Besides crapping huge gobs all over creation... what really fascinates them?

I mean the one thing that kind of tires me out the most is also the one thing I would probably miss the most were I to trade places with a member of any other species. I daresay I would miss the drama which lately seems to feature a neat trick perfected by the gentler sex of being in relationships that they don't tell anyone about. You see if you have a boyfriend and you don't tell me about it, there's a good chance that I'll make a hopeless fool of myself lavishing you with all kinds of flattery and attention. Not that you really wish to date me or even talk to me about anything interesting... but hey... all that attention makes you feel so gorgeous and special... why should you risk losing that merely for the sake of some goddamned integrity?

Several times in your life you will be inspired by the music you're listening to at any given moment and such was the case for me in 1989 when I was futiley attempting to wash the dough out of the pots in a bakery in Madison, Tennessee. Suddenly a song named "Dream On" by Aerosmith blared over the radio including this verse:

I know nobody knows
Where it comes and where it goes
I know it's everybody's sin;
You got to lose to know how to win.

It's these last words that help make drama indispensable. Because no matter what kind of emotional hell you go through and no matter how empty it leaves you feeling... when you finally meet someone who loves you and makes love seem rather simple and natural... you'll have that wacky drama you survived to thank... because without it... you wouldn't know how lucky you are to finally discover relationship nirvana.