The Artichoke Heart is a Lonely Hunter

I paid off the entire balances of two credit cards last month and felt like celebrating… so I went to Borders. On the sidewalk they had displayed dozens of books at bargain prices and one that caught my eye was 501 Must~See Movies. I picked it up and entered the store. My traditional procedure for spending the day at Borders is to collect several books and periodicals until my arms are full and then to sit down at one of the convenient tables and to pore through the contents which ordinarily will prompt additional forays into the aisles and shelves hunting for whatsoever materials have been thus cited or promoted. Such was the case on this day and in the movie book I found a description of a French/German film called Amélie starring Audrey Tautou who later played the leading lady in The Da Vinci Code. The review intrigued me and off I went in search of the DVD which I found and bought and watched. One quote that amused me is delivered by the main character when she sees a produce merchant belittling an employee by calling him a vegetable. Amélie chimes in by saying: "At least you'll never be a vegetable - even artichokes have hearts."

Now… don’t get the wrong idea… the impression this made on me was not that I should be kinder to cretins or anything so philanthropic as that. Sooner or later I will be inspired with an enlightenment of that sort and will faithfully share my findings with my adoring subscribers, but on this more pedestrian occasion I was impressed instead with a contemplation of artichokes. It happens that one of the tastiest items you can ever order from a menu is the Spinach and Artichoke Dip listed as an appetizer at the Olive Garden.

So there I am at home watching this foreign film and it occurs to me I’ve not enjoyed that culinary favorite of mine in a long time. And I’ll tell you why. It’s the same reason why I haven’t gone to see The Dark Knight yet. It just feels like the sort of thing you would do with a date and I’m not currently dating anyone. Interesting… now that I think about it because that was Amélie’s dilemma too. She was extraordinarily creative and interesting… but basically too cowardly to pursue a relationship. Meanwhile… until my cowardice dissipates a little I decided I could pay a visit to the Olive Garden with only my own company to enjoy.

That was the plan, but as the time drew near I had all kinds of inclinations to contact my beautiful and most recent ex~girlfriend and invite her to join me. It was always one of her favorite places to dine and she was amazed at how many breadsticks we were able to consume in a single meal. The temptation was formidable and even leaving my phone at home did not completely diffuse the potential for breaking a silence imposed last April when she discharged me from our friendship, for as I drew closer to my destination I considered taking a detour to her house and inviting her in person.

Sometimes I will catalog the several occurrences that have nearly provoked my capitulation in this abstinence.

• I wanted to wish her a happy Mother’s Day in May.
• I wanted to invite her to a retirement party for an older gentleman that she and I both admire very much.
• One morning after work I watched the film Enchanted on cable and the fairytale princess reminds me relentlessly of my ex. I thought about ordering the DVD on Amazon and having it delivered to her address.
• One time her son came into the poker room where I work and afterward it seemed like a plausible excuse for me to call her and say “Hey, guess who I ran into today!”
• Another time I believe I saw her in traffic turning into her place of employment and I was tempted to give her a call.
• I wish I could discuss the election campaigns with her. We used to have the most passionate conversations about the differences between liberals and conservatives. The galactic emergence of Governor Palin only magnifies this inasmuch as they have so much in common and I can almost guarantee that my ex would be extolling this candidate's virtues.
  

With each temptation I think if I can just stay strong… the next challenge will be easier to endure and I guess that has proven to be the case. I successfully arrived at the Olive Garden without bothering anyone to join me.

It happens that the manager of the restaurant is an acquaintance of mine and she welcomed me in the most delightful fashion. I glutinously devoured the appetizer that had inspired my visit and did some damage to an order of cheese raviolis as well. I wrote a little in my memoirs and read a chapter from The Heart is a Lonely Hunter which is about a mute that seems to have a Jesus Christ effect on everyone around him. He’s much beloved simply because he seems to be listening to what people are saying. It probably doesn’t matter much if he really is listening… simply his inability to interrupt rather automatically secures for him an unrivaled popularity. Any self~help book worth its weight in confetti will tell you the secret to cultivating better friendships is to become a good listener. And it is my supreme goal to work on this just as soon as I discover someone on the other side of the table for me to listen to.